Star Trek

Star Trek (2009) could convert anyone into a Trekkie. Are you up for the challenge?

James Kirk (Chris Pine) joins Starfleet to try to live up to his father, who sacrificed himself to save the people on his ship (including James and his mother). James Kirk is irresponsible and cocky, however intelligent--finding his way to trouble by hacking the space stimulation training. Spock (Zachary Quinto), the tattleteller, is a half-Vulcan-half human (which is kind of like being a mudblood). His logical Vulcan side is constantly at war with his emotional human side, but he decides to shut his emotions down to be a calculating and cool Commander. James Kirk manages to get on the Enterprise despite his violation and encounters the same Romulan ship that killed his father. Kirk's laidback and impulsive personalty clashes with Spock's, but they eventually team up to save whatever planet that needs saving...

 Run away! Run away! →→→

Although I haven't watched the original Star Trek [yet], I felt like the movie was too short to express the vastness of their universe. J.J. Abrams wanted to include so many awesome StarTimeWarpAlienKickAndLazerAndNotToMentionTheFoldingKatanaScenes that he forgot about the storyline. I guess Star Trek didn't really need a great plot because of all of the special effects...it just would have made Star Trek more cohesive (instead of sending Captain Kirk to all these weird places just so he can have some cool action scenes). 

Don't worry...these redshirts are safe.

Setting the plot aside, I really enjoyed Star Trek. The vision was there and this new world that J.J. Abrams created consumed me.Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto were great (although Zachary was a little too Sylar-creepy to me--maybe it's the ears). The Enterprise crew was perfectly cast and provided a little comic relief that lightened the mood.

Perhaps more background information on the different crew members will be revealed in the next movie (especially because of that cliffhanger ending)!

Cliffhanger! Hanging from a cliff!

Noticeable side effects: Headache, Nausia, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach, Diarrhea. Yay! Pepto Bismo!

I had no idea why I had a headache until I watched the behind-the-scenes footage...deliberate lens flares with handheld flashlights and spastic camera shaking? You've got to be kidding me. I could have gotten a seizure.

Live Long and Prosper!

Zombieland

A funny spin on the usual I-Am-Legend-apocalypse-type movies.

Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) is one of the few (6 to be exact) alive humans in a zombie-ridden Earth. He's heading to Coumbus, because his parents are there. Columbus joins Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a killing monster on a quest to find a Twinkie. They stop at a grocery store to search for Twinkies, but they find zombies and the two sisters Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). The sisters steal their weapons and vehicles, but join the two boys when the sisters try to con them again. They decide to go to Pacific Playland because it supposedly is the only zombie-free area. And who doesn't want to ride roller coasters? It's thrilling.

Sno-balls?!? Where's the cream filling?

There's some seriously hilarious moments in Zombieland. Bill Murray?? What the heck? Bill Murray as a zombie?? What the heck? Watch any five minutes of it and I assure you'll be hit with laughs. Although specific scenes were funny, the movie as a whole was a bit lacking. I think it's because it was intended to be a TV series (which would have been awesome and better suited); the pacing and storyline was a little messy. Besides that, the acting was great (except Jesse Eisenberg was pretty much just being himself). The characters were the most unusual group to gang up and the results were very entertaining. It's also refreshing to get a different kind of apocalypse movie. The end of the world doesn't always have to be gloom and doom. 

Who you gonna call?

The Karate Kid

Dre Parker (Jaden Smith) moves to Beijing because his mother's, Sherry (Taraji P. Henson) job. Dre experiences  culture shock and even encounters bullies, such as Cheng (Zhenwei Wang), who is jealous of Dre's smooth [American] moves on Little Miss Mei Ying (Wen Wen Han). After a kung-fu-butt-kicking from the bullies, Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) saves Dre, revealing his own kung-fu prowess. The bullies are instructed by Master Li, who promises that his boys will leave Dre alone if he or Mr. Han fights them. Dre and Mr. Han work together to prepare for the kung-fu tournament using unusual methods for training. No waxing the car, though. Just hanging a coat over and over and over...

Jaden's character was sheet thin--almost invisible. Jaden was able to rely on his cuteness in The Pursuit of Happiness, but that safety net is taken away in the Karate Kid. We learn a little about Mr. Han; we learn a little about Mei Ying, but Dre is just a kid with fancy poses. Actually, everyone was poorly developed. Mr. Han busted out a tragic car crash memory and reminisced for five minutes. His dispute with Master Li was left unfinished by the end of the movie. Dre's mom has a shady job, if she even has a job in Beijing. Mei Ying and Dre's "friendship[?]" was super awkward. What made Mei Ying fall for Dre? Was it his braids or his embarrassing dancing? Who knows...the script called for some romance and that's that. 

Awwkwaard...

The Karate Kid could entertain little children, trapping them with flashy kung-fu, popular music, and cheesy jokes.For everyone else: If you want kung-fu, watch Chinese wuxia. If you want culture shock, watch Lost in Translation or something. If you want child romance, go hide in a corner. 

I'm going to hang up my coat now. I have some bullies that need addressing.

"Attitude!"

Kick-Ass

Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) is a nobody in his school. He's the geek that hangs out at the comic book store. He's the weirdo that decided to become a superhero, Kick-Ass, overnight. Unfortunately, he doesn't have superpowers and he ends up in a hospital, stabbed and hit by a car. He gets fixed with metal-reinforced bones and a damaged nervous system that makes him almost invincible...and his ego a bit inflated. Kick-Ass meets Hit Girl (Chloë Grace Moretz) when she kills Frank D'Amico's gangsters when they were getting ready to beat up Kick-Ass. Hit Girl's father, Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage), wants to bring Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong) down because he framed Big Daddy as a drug dealer (back in the day when he was a cop). D'Amico thinks that Kick-Ass killed his men and goes after him. Kick-Ass meets Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), another amateur superhero, and they team up. Little does he know, Red Mist is D'Amico's son and has ulterior motives to their friendship. 

Kick-Ass Team

What's that about child profanity and violence? Oh that's right...it's awesome. It's a fictional movie and rated R, so little kids wouldn't be running around swinging butterfly knives in the playground (unless their parents are idiots and let them watch Kick-Ass). Kick-Ass was very entertaining with a great soundtrack to match. The comedy kept the more grim scenes in balance, and it got me laughing a few times. The  choreography was fresh and super cool. Honestly, Hit Girl's action scenes blew me away. Chloë was perfect as Hit Girl--a sweet girl and brilliant killer. Aaron Johnson was a lovable dork in Kick-Ass. The storyline gave enough time and thought into Dave's character development, and Aaron was able to bring comedy and seriousness together without shocking the audience with a bipolar movie. I was surprised to see Christopher Mintz-Plasse play a non-dorky role (not that there's something wrong with McLovin). Soo...movie producers: Chris is versatile! Good thing Nicholas Cage had a mask on for most of the movie; his contemplative-eyebrow-face wasn't there to distract. The ending bothered me; Kick-Ass felt like it ended too early. Maybe a little tweak here and there would have made a perfect movie (to me, at least). 

The hovercraft was disappointing. 

Inception

Is he dreaming? Is he not? Is the whole movie a dream? My brain!!!

Christopher Nolan probably gets a good laugh from all of these theories and interpretaions of his crazy confusing (but good) movie.

It'll blow your mind

Dominic Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) is an Extractor that searches people's minds while they dream to unlock their deepest secrets. Saito (Ken Watanabe) sends Cobb and his sidekick, Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), on a mission to plant an idea (called an inception) into a business rival's mind. Saito wants Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy) to break up his dead father's empire, but this is considered impossible to all the extractors except Cobb. Cobb takes the job in return for him being able to live with his children again. Cobb gathers Eames (Tom Hardy), Yusuf (Dileep Rao), and Ariadne (Ellen Page) for his mission, along with Arthur and Saito. Yusuf makes a strong sedative for them and Fischer so they wouldn't wake up until the mission is complete. Saito buys the airline that Fischer would be flying on to get all of them in the same room. Ariadne is the architect of the dream to replace Cobb (because his deceased wife, Mal (Marion Cotillard), haunts his dreams). They plan to go down 3 levels into the dream (a dream within a dream within a dream) and perform synchronized "kicks" (or feelings of freefall) to wake everyone up in each of the dream levels. But when its too late to turn back, they realize that if they die in the dream, they'll end up in Limbo (wait 50 years to wake up because of the sedative and the dream would feel like reality) , which is like purgatory. With Fischer's armed projections in his dream and Cobb's evil wife, inception does seem impossible.

"You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling."

I had to google the heck out of Inception it to understand it. That's what makes the movie so intriguing- how much depth there is. This film is so different- the ideas, the action...the whole concept. It's hard to wrap my head around it, but it kept me thinking after the movie, which is great. I love movies that leave an aftertaste kind of impression on the viewer. The action was very cool, especially Arthur's anti-gravity bit. The humor is very subtle and it is a breath of fresh air in all the seriousness of guns and evil wives. With an awesome cast like Inception's, nothing can go wrong with the film. They seemed to work really well together. Leonardo DiCaprio had a mysteriousness to him (very similar to Shutter Island, actually- rockin' the slick hair look). He had great chemistry with Marion Cotillard, but Ellen Page didn't really fit with him. Tom Hardy and Joseph Gordon-Levitt exchanged some funny dialog- just like a bickering couple. Ellen Page seemed more subdued in this movie (Ariadne isn't a quirky character like Juno), but she still had her likable charm. Oh yeah...killer ending. It's like Shutter Island all over. DiCaprio's messing with my brain again.

So...what do you believe? Is it a dream or reality?

The Last Airbender

M. Night Shyamalan sure had us fooled...who knew his true calling was COMEDY? The Last Airbender gave me a few laughs because it was like a spoof video of the show. I showed a clip of the movie to my friend and she thought it was a fanvid.

In the world of Avatar, there are four nations: Earth, Water, Fire, and Air. The people in their nation can bend the corresponding element if they're born with the ability. The Avatar is supposed to bring balance to the four nations with his powers (ability to bend all four elements). Katara (Nicola Peltz) and Sokka (Jackson Rathbone) from the water tribe find Aang (Noah Ringer) in an iceberg and free him. They find out that Aang is the Avatar that ran away 100 years ago because he didn't want to be the Avatar (can't have a family) and he got caught in a storm, resulting in getting trapped in the iceberg. Aang is hunted by the Nazi-like Fire Nation, who wants to take over the world with their fire bending with the absence of Aang. Prince Zuko (Dev Patel) is banished to hunt the Avatar in exchange for his fathers acceptance. When the firenation captures Aang, Katara and Sokka decide that it is their "responsibility" to help Aang. They escape with some swoosh swoosh airbending and Aang and his new friends stop by some small Earth kingdom towns to stop the firebenders little by little. He has to learn waterbending as the first step to mastering the elements (he already mastered air) to defeat the evil fire nation.

Oh my goodness! He's bending fire out of nothing! It makes all the other firebenders look like wimps.

People in the theater probably thought I was crazy because I was laughing so much when the scenes were solemn. Aang is only twelve years old, but he acts like his mother beat the childhood out of him or something.   Every single character in Avatar is stripped of his/her personality, which makes the show what it is. There is absolutely no excuse for Shyamalan's suspicious casting. I can act better than Noah Ringer and just use his stunt double to do some cool flips. Nicola Peltz had no emotion. Might as well cast a rock for Katara and invest the money on a better camera (most scenes looked blurry and foggy). Heck, I can write a better script than Shyamalan.
Aang (being a Liberater): "There's earth under your feet!" 
Earthbenders in prison: Really?? Ooh there is!! I can earthbend this earth that has been right under my feet for the past 100 years!
Me: *facepalm*
The bending in the movie reminded me of a video game. Opponent's turn. Fire ball: → O ↓ ↑ X ← Enter. You dodge. Your turn. Rock Throw: ↓ O ↓ ← ← Enter. Opponent defeated. You gain 10 EXP.

← ← ← Run away! Run away!

It takes so long just to move a tiny rock. Why waste your time bending when you could just go up to your opponent and stab them? It would be so much faster. If firebenders need a fire source, why can't everyone put out their stupid campfires? There are so many things in this movie that doesn't make sense. Even though it's a fantasy, Shyamalan's ideas wouldn't even make sense in the Avatar world. I may be a bit biased because I'm a huge fan of the show, but people that don't watch the show have common sense and are probably lost in The Last Airbender's super fast pacing. I can't say that I'm disappointed because I kind of predicted that this would be a bad movie, just not this bad. 1 star for making me laugh sometimes and promoting the show (you should watch that instead). I really hope this isn't a trilogy...

Wanted

Wait a minute...why is Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) only on the tiny corner of the poster? Isn't he the main character? Nope, Fox (Angelina Jolie) stole the show.

Wesley Gibson has it bad. His life sucks. His boss is crazy annoying, his girlfriend is cheating on him with his best friend, and he has absolutely no search results when he googles his name. It all changes when he meets Fox and gets into a gun fight/car chase. Fox tells him that his father was an assassin murdered by an assassin and introduces him to the Fraternity. The pact leader, Sloan (Morgan Freeman) says that he could be a superhuman like Fox if he used his panic attacks to his advantage and ultimately take revenge for his father. He trains and ups his endurance, strenth, etc, etc, and joins The Fraternity in assassinating the people that the Loom of Fate spells out. 

Oh boy. Wesley the Loser has a panic attack again

Wanted was an awesome action-adventure ride. The fighting scenes were very cool and nicely choreographed. Wesley Gibson was great at screaming his head off in the beginning of the film and Jolie had enough kick-butt to cover for that loser. Everything is slick until Sloan introduces the magic loom: total what the heck moment. Stand aside, Morgan Freeman. It's the Loom of Fate's turn to play God. Then came the magic bath..then the magic bullets...then the "I am your father" thing...then the exploding rats. It's a cool concept, but a bit too technical for me. And Mythbusters busted the curving bullets myth.

"This is me taking back control of my life. What the f*** have you done lately?"

Awaiting The Last Airbender

As bad as this movie may be...

 because of Mr. Constipated (Jackson Rathbone) from Twilight as the hilarious Sokka...

or this white kid with a pet Zoboomafoo as Aang and Momo...

 I'm actually kinda excited for this film! I'll just turn my color vision off and pretend they're all asian.

Be sure to check out show beforehand so the movie wouldn't spoil it.

Shaolin Soccer

Stephen Chow!! He's such a hilarious guy. This movie is probably one of his funniest.

Iron Head and sing trying to rouse up the Kung fu spirit in gangsters

Fung (Ng Man Tat) used to be a famous soccer player, but because his rival teammate, Hung (Patrick Tse) set up an event that led to his cripple leg, he now is a human foot-stool for Hung. Fung meets Sing (Stephen Chow), who has an amazing "Mighty Steel Leg" and gets an idea to use Sing's Shaolin Kung fu to beat Hung's soccer team and win the tournament. Sing agrees because his ultimate dream is to teach people to incorporate Kung fu into their everyday lives to improve it. After some major encouragement, he gathers his Shaolin brothers to train with Coach Hung. They're a bit rusty on the Kung fu and can't play soccer for their life, but Sing manages to bring their butt-kicking spirit back to fight play against Hung's "Evil Team" (such an evil name).

The Shaolin Bros get their game on.

Now don't let the language barrier stop you from watching this movie. The subtitles are pretty accurate, but I have to admit..knowing Chinese makes this movie perfect. I have watched Stephen Chow's mo lei tau (Chinese wordplay) movies and I understood it like an American: I had no idea what was so funny. Shaolin Soccer, however, doesn't use much mo lei tau. The humor is mostly physical and slapstick, so I kept laughing throughout this whole movie. Having the director be the star of the film really gets things done. There is really no one that can star a Stephen Chow movie than the man himself. He works great with Ng Man Tat and Wong Yut Fei (Iron Head). The romance between Mui (Vicki Zhao) and Sing seemed a little rushed, but Hey, kung fu attracts girls, right? The action scenes were very cool. Even though the CGI isn't as polished as the movies nowadays, the scenes are so over-the-top that they're hilarious. I recommend you see the full 102-minute version of the film (not the Miramax 80-minute version). I don't know why they would cut 20 minutes of great scenes.

This is Empty Hand (Bruce Lee Danny Chan Kwok Kwan)

Iron Man 2

Cue the heavy metal music! It's Iron Man! Two!! Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) returns with his identity as iron man revealed along with an ego bigger than his new muscles. He's having the time of his life because of his shortened life span due to palladium poisoning. Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) becomes CEO of Stark Industries and Natalie Rushman (Scarlett Johansson) becomes Tony's new assistant. Tony also gets a new arch rival, Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke), who copies Iron Man's arc reactor to make an electrical whip thing. Ivan joins forces with Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell), who owns a rival weapons company and gives Ivan materials in exchange for his innovation. Meanwhile, Tony Stark tries to find a substitute for palladium and ends up with a new armor. Tony and Lt. Colonel James Rhodes (Don Cheadle) become the Iron Men and battle Ivan's robot inventions.

"I want my bird."

Doesn't he look so much more menacing with that bird on his shoulder? He's like a pirate.

I was very excited for this movie. I watched Iron Man 1 not too long ago and that open ending just left me hanging. I was so disappointed with Iron Man 2. There wasn't much plot in it for Tony Stark or anyone, really. The whole movie felt like Scarlett Johansson's character: all glitz but no substance. I have no idea why she needed to be in the movie, to tell you the truth. I haven't read the comics, but I assume Natalie Rushman was more than just someone that looks pretty and flights people with her thighs. Ivan wasn't so terrible (haha). He wasn't much of a threat, especially with that new triangle arc reactor and Mr. Rhodes in Tony Stark's posse. Robert Downey Jr. did a great job portraying Tony Stark again. Iron Man 2 was just a pretty movie to look at. Cool fight scenes and good acting...with an occasional laugh. The first movie was better (it always is).

BFFs 4ever.

I found the distracting spinning thing that was on Pepper Pott's desk on Amazon.com! The comments are hilarious.